Funny New Year Resolution

It is said that New Year resolution is bound to be broken. This is the reason, why most of the New Year resolutions are considered funny.



A funny New Year resolution is often made during the celebrations of New Year eve. Many people make New Year resolution just for fun while some make them with a sheer seriousness.

Some best funny New Year resolutions are mentioned below:

  • I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

 

  • I will stop sending e-mails to my wife

 

  • I will think of a password other than “password” or “hello”.I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine – if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks!

 

  • I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

 



 

  • I will give up chocolates totally.

 

  • Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

 

  • I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

 

  • When I hear a funny joke, I will not reply.

These Funny resolutions on New Year can also be considered as New Year resolution jokes. If you want to wish ‘Happy New Year’ to your near and dear ones, you can send these jokes through your mobile phones. However, do not forget to mention your New Year wishes after that. Given below are some examples of funny New Year resolution.

  • I will try to figure out why I really need ten e-mail addresses.

 

  • I will not eat medicine just because it looks like candy.

 

  • I will regularly wash my underwear.

 

  • I will watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

 

  • I will play more computer games. Scientists say they’re good for me and improve my visual skills.

 

  • I will eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn, and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables, and soy nuts.

 

  • I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week.

 

  • I will learn what the “resolution” means.

 

  • I will leave my brain at home while going to watch the supposedly scary movies.

 

  • I will not hang around girls because they think I love them.

 

  • I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.

 

  • I will stop exercising, because it is such a waste of time.

 

  • I will stop being nice to cute guys.

 

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Top 5 New Year Resolutions that you can take up as a family

 

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New Year Resolutions For Women

New Year is one of the most enchanting festivals in the world. It is such an occasion, with which almost all the individuals associate their dreams and desires. The New Year Day is celebrated worldwide on January 1 and with it an entire new year comes into being.



The day comprises celebration of several traditions and practices but the principal theme of the event is tuned with ample fun and exaltation.

The essential factors without which the New Year seems to be incomplete are the New Year parties, the various New Year Gifts and the array of supporting events in form of musical concerts, dance nites and festal dinners. Another important element related to a New Year is taking the various New Year Resolutions. These are the set of resolutions or promises made by the individuals when the year begins and this is mainly done to create a fair track to reach the desired objective at the end of the year.

Although the resolutions are taken irrespective of age and gender, but still, the nature of the vows vary from man, woman and children. Theses are some of the specimen New Year Resolutions for women. This will help in putting light on the thought and sentiments of women to a great extent.

The New Year Resolutions for women mainly reflects the ways women set their objectives for the year and motivate herself in becoming successful to meet the ultimate goal. These are few of the primary New Year Resolutions for women which will help them to walk through the ramp and tempests of life. The most significant among them happen to be the following.

    • A woman is very much particular about her looks so the most important resolution happens to be retaining her good looks. The resolution that tops the list is to have more curves in the figure and have her vital statistics set to such a quotient that she will perfectly resemble an hourglass.

 

    • A woman bears lots of responsibilities. Therefore one of the foremost resolutions taken by her should be setting a goal for herself in order to attain her aims.

 

    • It is not at all viable for a woman to be prodigal at any cost, so a woman must take the resolution to cut off her expenses to some extent and save some money for the future.

 

    • Apart from that, the other necessary resolutions can be, being helpful to other, look for new investment options, quit the habit of drinking and smoking, if at all possess it.

 

    • The last resolution, that should always be at a priority position in the woman’s list of New Year Resolutions, is to have ample time and energy for her family and if she is a mother then the kid should be at the highest point of her priority list.

 

So, follow these simple rules and take the New Year Resolutions in order to have a happy life ahead.

 


New Year Resolutions
Get a Fitness Routine Lose Weight Quit Smoking
Funny How To Achieve Jokes
Top 10 Commonly Broken New Year’s Resolutions and Ways to stick to them Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for Bloggers Top 10 Tips to maintain New Year Resolutions
Top 5 New Year Resolutions that you can take up as a family


Resolutions For
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Children Managers Women
Teenagers

New Year Resolution For Students

If you are determined to continue your education, a smart goal oriented approach is required where every step can be measured and monitored so that you finally reach your desired target.



Often time constraint is there for certain educational programs. To take all those to your stride, New Near is the best time to introspect and come up with plans that are attainable, action packet and are guaranteed to show results.

You may be a school student, a high school student, an undergraduate student, a graduate student or a post graduate student – but there are certain ground rules that would make you accomplish your tasks without much ado.

Here are a few tips on New Year Resolutions for Students that would make the New Year a successful one for you academically –

    • Put Action before Thoughts – Are you someone who likes to count the pages of a book before you even start reading it; or, someone who is more into designing a study routine rather than following one; or, someone who starts thinking about the results and consequences thereafter even before taking a test? If yes, then it is high time that you stopped procrastinating and get involved into some hardcore action. Write that essay that you have kept pending for a while, start researching for the submission that is next week – the idea is to get as much work done as possible now, so that you don’t have to panic at the eleventh hour. Also doing your work ahead of time keeps you covered in case you have some serious problem (health issues, family problems etc) later on just before the deadline.

 

    • Set yourself Tangible Targets – There is a huge difference between wanting to do something and actually doing something. So you should get a reality check done before you give wings to your dreams so that they do not get impractical or unattainable. Setting tangible goals will not only help you to gauge your performance but would also get your work done systematically. Set yourself time bound goals so that your work never keeps mounting.


    • Learn to Make a Priority List – As a student it is highly likely that your hands are almost always too full. But you should know how to set your priorities right. You should not start studying for a test that is to come two weeks later just because it is related to your favorite subject. Instead you should concentrate more on topics that you know are not your strong points.  Also learn to refrain – don’t get involved in too many activity or curricular clubs, and then feel overwhelmed. Instead enroll in a couple of them that really interest you and try to excel in them.
    • Take a Methodical Approach – Organized approach has always been a key to success. This also helps you to stay abreast of all that is going on in your life. It is better to maintain a calendar rather than panic the night before when you suddenly realize that a deadline is knocking on the door. In most cases missed deadlines amount to missed opportunities. Organized preparations also leave a room for revise and recapitulation.

 

    • Do Not Shrink from Taking Tests – You should never shrink from taking tests. You would not know where you stand unless you face them. Sometimes taking a standardized test early leaves room for retry if needed. Sometimes we refrain from taking a test not because we are under prepared, but because we are just too scared to face the music. The more you keep delaying taking a test, the more scared and unconfident you shall feel.

 

    • Modify your Lifestyle – Your lifestyle has a direct influence on your academics. If your health is not at an optimum, it would not be possible for you to concentrate and focus. A balanced diet, exercise and proper sleeping pattern are essential to maintain good health. Also it is very important that you do not burn midnight oil the night before examinations for this may stress you making your brain feel numb. For you to perform your best, a rested and alert mind essential.

 

    • Limit your Distractions – Well, you may hate to admit it, but most of us spend a lot of our time doing stuffs that are purely for our pleasure. Have you added up how many hours a day you are hooked to the social media? How many hours a day you spend unproductive time online? How much time you spend each day watching a TV show even when you are aware of a pending deadline? How much time do you spend each day chatting over phone, texting your friends or playing video game? We know, it is not possible to stick to an “all work and no play” routine, but you should learn to strike a balance so that your performance does not get affected.

 

    • Nurture your Self Confidence – Doubting your own abilities always stifles your wings. However, being over confident too at times spoils the deal. You should understand the thin line of difference. The best way to be confident is to be prepared – a proper research and study always comes to aid to banish any doubt that attempts to cloud your mind.

 

    • Think Futuristically – This is a time to spread your wings. This is also a time to gauge how you can make a mark that would help you make advancement in your career in the future. Supposing you are a student of literature, then joining a creative writing workshop is meaningful. If you are a biologist, a Nature trek would be relevant for you. In short, focus on futuristic value additions.

 

    • Make Resolutions you can stick to – Last, but not the least, you should not get carried away by thoughts and ideas of others. You as an individual should frame your resolutions according to your needs and wants – resolutions you can stick to, resolutions that would make a positive difference for you.

 

 

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New Year Resolution For Parents

New Year is round the corner and time has come to turn our thoughts on things that we would like to change or ways in which things could be done better the next time.



Everyone gets busy around this time in drawing up resolutions for the New Year. Whether you are a student, a professional, a housewife or a parent, resolutions are taken by all during the New Year.

Parents have added responsibilities of nurturing a child and looking after the entire family, and hence the resolutions need to be drawn up keeping in mind the welfare of the family.

People with kids need to give a lot of time and thought before deciding on the resolutions to ensure that they are achievable and are taken for the best interest of the family. Here are some of the practical New Year resolutions for parents that can be taken for enjoying a good time with family in the year ahead.

Act Patiently – Patience is the most important virtue when handling kids and running the family. You will come across a number of situations when your patience will be tested by your kids and family member but the need of that hour would be to stay calm and composed to assess the situation more practically. Have patience and try not to lose your temperament when your child starts running around and does not abide by the rules you have made for him.

New Year Messages

 

Avoid over- interference – It is important to know things related to your child but it is not a good idea to meddle into everything that he or she does. Let your child do things on his/her own to prevent him/her from becoming too over- dependent on you for every little thing. Take the resolution this New Year not to mess about in everything that your child is involved into to help him/her develop an independent thinking.

Put A Limit On Your Work Hours – Most parents involved in professional lives often tend to neglect the needs of their children because they hardly have any time left for looking after their child’s development. If you are one such parent, who has very little time to pay attention to the various requirements of your children then it is suggested that you take the New Year resolution of capping your working hours every day for devoting more time towards your family and child.

Devote Some Time during the Day For Yourself – The most difficult job on earth is parenting and raising up kids. In order to give utmost care, love and attention and fulfill their needs and desires, parents often tend to lose their own personal identity. Parents are often left with no time for realizing their personal goals. Even little free time that sometimes they get goes into doing things that will make their children or family members happy. Do not kill your dreams and aspirations only because now you have kids to look after. Take the New Year resolutions for taking some time out for your self every day for doing things that gives pleasure to you.

 

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New Year’s Resolution For Men

Remember that famous last line of Bernard Shaw in Arms and the Man about the hero Bluntschli? “What a Man, Is he a man?” That really gets us wondering about what really is a man?



Or rather who really is a man? Is he what Bob Dylan sang as How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? So what is he?

And what is a real man then? Without getting into didactics, let us just safely surmise that a real man is one who can make proper and apt New Year Resolutions and what’s more; can stick to them and execute them. Well…That is whom we can call a real man!

Now why is it important to have New Year resolutions? New Year resolutions are not new and have historical significance of being promises made towards God. Over the years New Year’s resolutions have come to signify certain set of self disciplines propounded to elevate oneself or basically certain rules for self improvement. It does not really concern anybody else or barring your most intimate soul mate, than yourself.

It has to be made by you and it has to be followed by you. Nobody, but you can convince yourself to be a better human being; a human being of whom you, yourself will be proud of. So on that note , let us take a quick look at what could be in your pipeline to be considered for adopting albeit tweaks and turns for your new year resolution.

  • Stop letting people dictate you – as the famous song went – It’s actually and ultimately your life; so just stop letting people intervene and dictate on what you are going to do with your life. Fine if you stumble and falter; those are your mistakes and consider them to be a learning curve.
  • Be appreciative and start controlling your physical domain- by this what we are trying to emphasize is that try to appreciate your home environ, that is the material things filling up your physical space. Arrange and rearrange them so that they suit you. Remember a basic maxim that if you want to control things around yourself, start from the things at home cause they do have an innate effect on your sub conscious.
  • Let go of people and activities which are not beneficial for you. Remember the idiom that “Time and tide wait for no man”? So your time and efforts are valuable. Give up on people and habits or activities which are no longer beneficial for you and have become wasteful.
  • Never let anyone to put you down. Once you degrade yourself, or allow someone to place you in a position below them- you will never be able to bring yourself up.
  • Let her know. Just let her know if you are interested in her. If she does not take the initiative; then you need to take it to make things happen.
  • Then again on the reverse, if you feel that she does not need you…then move on. There is always someone else. So don’t waste your time and efforts on someone who is not worth it… just move on!
  • Learn to look at things in black and white. Admittedly there are grey areas and characters in life; but that is just a ploy in our minds I believe to stop being decisive.  Just know that you need to prioritize; that if it is not right, then it is wrong.
  • Make a firm goal for every single day. Know what exactly you are going to do, start the day with a purpose; to make the day fruitful have a concrete aim. Stop wasting days without any purpose. Time is the essence.
  • Make healthier eating habits. Cut junk and crap food out of your system and your food habits. Respect and treat your digestive system and your body well.  Building a healthier eating habit will go a long way in respecting and treating yourself well. Well… you can cheat one day in a week; after all you need to satiate the glutton in yourself as well!
  • Understand there is no point in making newer friends who do not do any value addition to your life. You already have enough people; and as it is it is always wiser to have a few shoulders to lean on than an entire crowd. Be qualitative and not quantitative in terms of friends and acquaintances. Remember that newer bonds will require more time for you to invest. Better to nurture the one you already have.
  • Continuing on the earlier thread, remember that negative people have a negative effect on your life; so it is better to let people go who have a negative impact on you, who create a negative ambience in your life.
  • Prioritize. That is perhaps one of the most important resolutions that one can take and one can adhere to. Prioritizing will happen when you realize and recognize what is important to you. You need to remind yourself of what and who your priorities are; otherwise you will lose the focus of your life.
  • Never believe that just because you deserve, all good things will fall at your feet.  You need to focus and put in a consolidated effort to get what you want, and then only will you attain it.
  • Respect your elders. Never forget that they took care of you once and now it is your turn to take care and notice of them. Appreciate their presence in your life. Remember, you too will grow old someday.
  • Own up. Learn to accept the responsibilities of your own actions. If you think you did something wrong. Own up. There is nothing wrong in admitting your mistakes and learning a lesson out of them.
  • Make a bucket list and start striking off lists off that as and when you can. You never know till how long your life will last, so as Tennyson said…”drink life to the lees”. Live your life to the fullest.
  • Most importantly, if you feel that any issue needs to be addressed, do it. Address it. Don’t wait for something to happen. Nothing will happen till you make it happen. Thus things are in your hand to make them happen, to bring them to fruition.

 

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New Year Resolutions For Managers

As the sun sets in its time to look back on our past mistakes and achievements committed during the last one year.



Standing on the threshold of a new beginning its imperative for us to set some targets and goals for the coming days.

Since people from all walks of life, pledge for new year goals, new year resolutions for managers involves a greater task of fulfilling ones managerial duties and responsibilities.Corporate new year resolutions endeavors to analyze and evaluate ones work environment and usher in a change of development and progress.

New Year resolutions for corporate leaders enhances to project better value and feasibility of his/ her tactical plans. New year resolutions for a healthy life is not just about setting progressive new year goals but also spending quality time for family and managing stress and anger.
Since new year symbolizes good luck, it’s the best to venture out on new initiatives and plans for better prospect and growth of individual firm.Commercial new year resolutions is all about balancing the budget, cutting down on useless expenditure and increasing revenues from the markets.

New Year Messages

 

Try out these new year resolutions

  • Devoting more time to family.
  • Going for a weekend vacation with family at exotic destinations.
  • Making efforts to navyuce on work related stress and anger management.
  • Stop being spendthrift.
  • Be a patient listener in the office as well as at home.
  • Exercise regularly and stop eating junk foods.
  • New year resolutions for investors calls for strict adherence to tax rules and regulations.

These resolutions if followed would surely bring about a good change in your life and fill your days with joy and laughter.

 

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New Year Resolutions For Children

The tradition of making new year resolutions on the new year’s eve is an age old custom dating back to the Babylonian era where people vowed to follow a new set of changes in their lives.



New year resolution for children attempts at inflicting a change in the child’s attitude and behavior. Parents have to shoulder a bigger responsibility in guiding the children in the right path. With the changes of time, different problems seem to arise in raising the kids towards a healthy life, most importantly being the ill effects of media and fast foods.

New year resolution for kids is just about teaching the basics of being more organized, punctual and disciplined in life. Parents should try to inculcate a sense of cleanliness like brushing his/ her teeth twice daily, helping him to clean up his/ her room and encouraging the child to participate in different sports activities.

The little one’s in your home surely deserves lot more care and attention. New year resolution for infants is virtually about creating an environment of fun and enjoyment in the house. Both parents should try to devote more time to the kid and generate a friendly atmosphere at home.

New year resolution for toddlers in the age group of 0- 3 years calls for teaching wide variety of learning activities and having interactive sessions with the child. Just try out these famous new year resolutions propagated by youngsters all over the world–

  • To do good in studies.
  • To do home works regularly.
  • Quit smoking.
  • Stop intake of alcohol.
  • Take active part in school’s sports activities.
  • Clean your room regularly.
  • Help your mother in the daily house hold chores.

These sure shots are definitely going to bring about a great change in your lives. So, practice these duties everyday and feel better with each passing day.

 

New Year Resolutions
Get a Fitness Routine Lose Weight Quit Smoking
Funny How To Achieve Jokes

 

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Men Parents Students
Children Managers Women
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