Chinese New Year Jokes

Chinese New Year, the 15 daylong celebrations is an extremely cherished event, where relatives from far flung places congregate and have New Year reunion dinner, exchange pleasantries, offer prayers, share news views and jokes.

Chinese New Year jokes are often found to be quite tongue in cheek! To make this New Year special, in keeping family, friends and relatives in split; let us share some of the jokes!

• Create your own lies!!!

Once upon a time there was a man called Huan, who did not do anything for a living. He was a rogue and a rascal. His only aim was to have a free meal and to make ends meet somehow. Once while he was on the threshold of starving, he chanced upon a funeral house. Huan went in and sat down in deep mourning in front of the memorial tablet and wept bitterly. Upon being asked why he wept so he replied that he was closely associated with the man and had not met him for a couple of months. He said that he was shattered at his death and can only cry as a mark of his friendship.

The family, touched, asked him to stay back for dinner. After having a hearty meal; while returning, Huan met another charlatan and rascal, called Shanyuan. Huan recounted of his great cunning with lot of pride to Shanyuan who was deeply impressed.

Next day Shanyan too came across a funeral house, went inside, and acted likewise. Upon being asked, he too said he was a best friend of the dead. Alas! Rather than dinner and drink he was greeted with kicks and punches. Why??? The funeral was that of a young housewife!

Therefore “Never” replicate your lies. Create your own; or better still don’t lie!

• Be prepared to have a taste of your own medicine!!

Huang Fu was a rich farmer who was terribly ill behaved and behaved very badly with his farmhand Chen. One day Huang Fu told Chen to buy him a bottle of wine, to which the poor farmhand pleaded that he had no money. Huang Fu being the man that he was, opined loftily, that anyone could get wine with money; but it would take real talent and skill to get wine without money.

Days went on. Chen kept thinking and brain storming as to how he can sort out this problem with the nasty Huang Fu. Then one day Chen went up to Huang Fu and handed him the empty bottle and smiled politely and wished that he hoped that Huang Fu enjoyed the heady wine.

Dismayed, seeing the empty bottle Huang Fu angrily asked Chen that how can one enjoy the wine when there was none? Smiling, Chen replied calmly that just as it took real talent and skill to buy wine without money, similarly it took real talent to enjoy a bottle of wine when there is none in the bottle.

Huang Fu was aghast, choked on his words, but could not utter a single word more!

Therefore, always be prepared to test your own medicine.